The Little Ankle Biters Are Leaving Home...Now What?

Its September, the bags are packed, you’ve given them recipes to all your favourite meals, you’ve bought them every student survival book you could get your hands on, and your heart is heavy. How on earth do you survive either your only child or your youngest child going off to university?

We took our son to University today, and whilst he’s going into his second year, I still have a lump in my throat as I write this post.

The house creaks with emptiness, and I wander into his room noticing the empty space where the eagerly used X box used to be...

It’s with such a mixture of pride and sadness that we wave our children off to University, hard to believe that this day has finally come. Unfortunately, gone are the days when we can exert control over their every move and decision. I have it slightly easier though than my sister, whose daughter my bright, talented and beautiful niece, (possibly a biased aunt!) Starts her first year at university this month.

In the midst of the empty spaces that our children leave behind though, are a new world of opportunities for the parents left behind. This doesn’t have to be the end, but the beginning of so much more. We now have the time (and possibly more money!) to start and concentrate on ourselves again; after years of being parents we can now begin to remember what it was like being individuals.

For me, it means I can explore hobbies and pursuits I’ve had my eye on for years, photography, horse riding again, learning to paint, writing a blog and catching up with friends, who admittedly I’ve probably been a bit lax in keeping in touch with. The world is so very different from when before I had a child, for a start, the Internet didn’t exist. Now so much more is accessible, and I fully intend to grasp every possibility out there.

It’s a transition though; our children leaving home, but it should hopefully be a transition process for you with the excitement of ‘what now’? It’s important to remember that it isn’t the first time you’ve let them go. You’ve already done that when they went to nursery, started secondary school and with their inevitable requests for more space and independence as they were growing up.

Remember, you’ve given your children the 2 most important elements for a healthy start in life, roots and wings. It’s now up to them, with your continuing love and support for them to go out into the world and use those gifts.

A few tips for surviving the empty nest:

• Think about the things you perhaps wanted to do over the years but were not able to pursue because of parental commitments.
• Keep busy – there are probably loads of things around the house you’ve been planning to do but never had the time for.
• Spend time with friends and like mind people who are perhaps going through the same transition.
• It’s easy to want to bombard your child with emails and phone calls, but they will undoubtedly be enjoying their new sense of freedom. Find out when is the best time to have a catch up chat and don’t take it personally when they are perhaps too busy to talk sometimes – remember they are having fun exploring their new life!

And finally, find time to sit back and swell with pride, thinking about the amazing young person you have raised and give yourself a big pat on the back!

Copyright Elizabeth Bacchus